stay away
Would you consider this a vicious cycle?
It's my fault really. Has to be. Even if I'm depressed by it, hurt by it, there's no one that can be blamed but myself.
I make sudden plans, like on the day or night itself. Even though he's out with his friends somehow I still end up coming along, possibly ruining his fun. Making him take care of me when I'm drunk. Making him entertain me when he has a lot of things to do. Making him wait for me after work and wait for me to come down to have breakfast or wake up to have breakfast or meet up wherever it is that we had planned.
I guess that's the end of it la. He did say that once he gets fed-up or tired he won't call or contact or anything. I've already done enough damage.
Only thing I can do now is just to stay away.
final.
I guess.
I like how I get brushed aside. For MahJong. You know. It's like all those things that we ever spoke before. About being special and you making it up to me. Like you know, those things actually mattered.
I like the way how I'm so easily forgotten. And the things you promise me too. Like
poof. Out of sight and hence out of mind.
I like how you tell me you're selfish and vow to change and the next thing decide that I'm being all so pleasant and stuff. Of course, it's so
easy to make it up to me. So easy to take advantage of my good nature and the fact that I forgive you so easily. Each and every time.
So I suppose you'll like the way how I'll tell you this. That it's over and there's no need to plan happily ever after. There won't be any. Not between you and me.
Single, there's no expectation from anyone. No need to make anyone happy or feel special or
more loved. You ask why I don't seem to love you more. I sit here, deciding it's really pointless to try and make things work, to ask myself if it's worth it to cry. I guess I'm finally done. I don't want to have anything to do with you. Not anymore.